Introspective
by Forever Yours Zana
Summary: He was tainted and twisted now for his sin of lust he would pay the ultimate price, given by this pseudo God that he had found in the streets trying to do an act of good. How ironic. [RoyxEnvy]


**Z/N:** Hum. I hate Roy/Ed and yet I wish there were more _Roy/Envy_ out there. (_HINT, HINT, HINTTT!_) I wrote this awhile but now I've retyped and edited and made pretty. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own FMA or anything else, thank you very much.

**Warnings:** AU, OOC, _light_ religious bashing, yaoi (male on male) lemon…

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"_Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man." -Thomas Paine _

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**Introspective **

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Roy had seen the boy (girl, perhaps?) every day he had went to work for the past four days.

He (or she) rested among the pile of trash that was casually thrown into the alleys of this forsaken city where rats as large as dogs attacked the innocents who dared wander to far into what they had marked as theirs. Each day that Roy had walked past, he would stop and stare (even though mother had once said that staring was not polite).

Black wisps of hair tinted a strange green shot out into tendrils that covered his (or her)'s face. Underneath the torn and muddled clothing, Roy had guessed that this person was malnourished. Spider legs, a writer's fingers, and skin as pale as snow were hidden beneath cracked egg shells and what appeared to be layers of grime (piss and shit, globs of slime that reminded Roy of spit).

Roy could never stare for too long because the stench became too over bearing for his sensitive nose. After staring Roy would go to work and forget about him (her?) for the day until he once again would find himself stopping, staring, and wondering the next day.

_Does anyone even care if he (she?) dies? _

**XXX**

I can hear their gasps, their breaths of pity, their stares and gossips each fucking day. Just because I'm homeless doesn't mean I'm illiterate. They can all fuck themselves in hell.

But also, every day, I see him staring back at me. This tall man with dark hair and even darker eyes, almond shaped. He stares me with a plethora of emotions I constantly found amusing in identifying: bewilderment, wonder, sympathy, and surprise, then blank (out like the black and white fizzle of a television).

The only things keeping me (physically) alive in this world was the drugs that danced happily (a different colored pill for each day of the week! Pretty silver needle points and sugar-coated plums…) through my blue veins and this tall, dark, and handsome work of man that stared at me, this mystery man who became an object of desire in my drug induced dreams (a sweet chemical kiss goodnight).

I'm not sure of anything right now, as I sit here swimming in my own waste, unable to move elsewhere. I drift in and out of consciousness. Some days it isn't so bad (the days when I curse out those pitying bastards) and other days it gets so bad I feel as if my heart's going soar out of my ribcage in some display so _terrible_ it borders on _the beautiful._

Whenever it's sunny I dream about death.

Whenever it rains, I remember the slaps and rapes.

Whenever it's cloudy, I whistle an old tune.

Whenever _he_ looks I take another shot and _lust _(even though I was named Envy).

Then one day I blacked out.

**XXX**

On the seventh day, Roy was walking again, but today he had no work. This time he walked close to the rotting he (she?) and lifted the person out of the mess, carrying (he was sure that this person was a he) into his arms. There would be time for questions and help later; _he_ cared about if he (a definite he) died or not.

**XOXOXO **

Roy had brought him inside from the cold and into the warmth of his small home. He lived alone, wasn't attached and damn proud of it. Women were lovely creatures, but a permanent wife would just hold him back in the long run. It was much nicer to slide in between different pairs of legs and kiss different pairs of lips, and squeeze different pairs of breasts (variety) each night.

He placed this stranger down on his couch before going to the bathroom, he filled the tub with warm water, soap and a sponge ready to be used as he went back and got the stranger, peeling him off of his rags.

The man's eyes widened as he was able to count almost every bone in located in body, see every cut and bruise turning sickly shades of purple and grey, the pin-pricks and scarring on his lanky arms…dried blood chipping off the colorless flesh…

Roy handled him carefully, as if he was a newborn child as he cleaned away the dirt, cleansing the wounds, running the sponge over his skin until the water in the tub became riddled with the gunk that had previously coated this boy's body. That was then Roy was able to see the hidden beauty of the once homeless person on the streets. It was the kind of rare beauty that a man such as he could appreciate; unconventional, androgynous delicacy. Something that could pass for either, undefined except the air of mystery was broken when one could spot out a bulge instead of smoothness between ivory thighs.

Once completing the bathing task, Roy dried him off and searched for the smallest pair of pajamas he could find before putting them onto the boy. That was when boy stirred (he couldn't have been older than seventeen…), light purple eyes staring into darker ones, "…It's you," were the first words that came out of his (wide enough for vicious grins) mouth. Roy nodded, "…I wanted to help. Roy Mustang…" Roy placed a hand out to shake as the teenager's eyes narrowed, using his arms to push himself up into a sitting position. "…Envy. Y'know, it's not common for people to take complete strangers into their homes like this. I could be insane for all you know…I could have a butcher's knife and cut you up raw like you were the freshest piece of meat to sell." Envy paused and allowed a smirk to grace his features, "did you enjoy looking at me when you bathed me? Are you a pedophile just needing the right victim to terrorize? Tell me, I want to know what makes you tick…_Roy_."

They were face to face now, so close that Roy could feel Envy's breath tickle the sides of his face, hypnotizing twin optics of lilac sharp yet blurry at the same time. A contradictory nature, Roy mused upon this person was either testing or playing some sort of sick game.

"I'm not sure what kind of terrible past you've had but I'm not like any of the other people you've known before."

Envy snorted, "Not like any other people… you're human aren't you? You have the same possibility of turning perverse just like anyone else out there because everyone starts out normal…whatever the _fuck_ normal is." A wheezed laugh that shook his thin frame escaped his lips, "God's such a bastard." Roy frowned, "Don't speak of such things." It was a natural defense, even though he was far from religious, but growing up, going to church on Sundays and hearing the powerful words of the Bible still held its profound effect on him up to this day.

"…You've been in my dreams Roy," Envy continued on, moving closer to close the gap in between their heads, "I've been having bad thoughts about you. _Sinful_, you might even say. And I know you think I'm gorgeous, because that's what all the older men think and want…someone young and male, but to save their masculinity, have their boys a little on the _femme_ side."

Roy was expecting this (he should have done something to stop it) but only asked for entrance into Envy's mouth as he felt those pale lips generate heat that made blood rush downward press against his. Envy complied, opening his mouth and allowing Roy's tongue to slide hotly against his own. Roy got onto the bed, laying Envy back as he straddled the teenager's hips. Somewhere in his mind, his sanity screamed (_He's younger than you, he isn't a girl…you're just proving him right…stop being a slut and getting hard at every attractive person who's willing to spread their legs for you…!_)

When Envy fucked, he was use to having it rough. It annoyed him as Roy was spacing out, kissing him mindlessly and his arousal becoming more evident as it proudly waved and rubbed against the teenager's own crotch. He gave a slight growl as he fisted a good amount of black hair and tugged, causing Roy to hiss in pain and snap out of it, "…How many guys have you messed with? One I'm guessing…anyway, I'm not some girl…we're both hard, so just…fuck me, no romantic touchy touchy shit."

It was only a matter of minutes before both of their clothes were off, thrown into different corners of the well furnished bedroom as Envy arched again, pink nipples stiff and wet from Roy's mouth, bites and sucks imprinted around his neck, his bottom lip bleeding from an ill-fated kiss.

Envy moaned loudly, feeling the older man finger him with well lubed fingers while sucking his cock, burning tongue swirling over the wet tip, lapping any precum that dripped as he bobbed his head rhythmically up and down. Roy enjoyed this, hearing the sound of his screams that were both manly and feminine at the same time. He hooked his fingers inside of Envy, making scissoring motions and plunging deeper as his teeth gently squeezed his jiggling ball. "_Fuuuuuck_," Envy breathed out, thrusting his narrow hips just to feel more of the wet heat that engulfed his cock that was on the verge of just exploding…

Roy practically choked on the tangy saltiness that filled his oral cavity, pulling away as some of the white stickiness got onto his face as well. Envy panted softly turning himself over on his belly as he got on his knees and raised his ass in the air, "...I'm ready…don't go easy." He looked back with lowered eyelids and a coy smirk that just drove Roy mad, a temptress in the making.

Roy poured a generous amount of the oil he used to finger Envy onto his palm, then gripping his own length and moving his fingers up and down to make it slick enough, shuddering softly at the pleasure the act gave him as his thumb added pressed in just the right spots before feeling the perfect curve Envy's ass cheeks, spreading the pale globes as his cock sank in, pushing through the still tight ring inch by inch until he was full seated.

_He said not to go easy_, Roy thought as he began thrusting, eyeballs rolling back in his head at how _delicious_, how _hot_ and _tight_ this boy was, digging his nails into the pale folds of skin, rocking both their bodies (along with the bed) as their breaths and moans blurred into one. The pleasure was just immense, Roy went harder; free of the boundaries he had before with previous women who preferred a gentler route.

_He didn't even notice the blood that was coating his dick and getting onto the sheets._

After Roy had come, a strangled moan passed his lips. Envy looked up, half his face covered by the great mane of his hair, "You're more fucked up than you thought you were, aren't you? Enjoyed every single minute of plowing me, you even made me bleed. Just like that bitch Eve who ate the forbidden fruit, even though she knew she wasn't suppose to, tempted by the seductive snake…and now, you've fallen from God's grace. You're infected like I am."

Roy sobbed, harder than he had throughout his life, harder than when he had taken away life for the first time, harder than when he found out that Hughes had died, even harder than when he had failed to protect those two boys, the Elric brothers (the elder being his first male fuck). He was tainted and twisted now for his sin of lust he would pay the ultimate price, given by this pseudo God that he had found in the streets trying to do an act of good.

How ironic.

**XXX**

Envy left the next day, taking whatever valuable Roy held, kissing him on the cheek as the man's dead body laid blood soaked on the floor, a gun a mere few feet away. Roy had asked his 'God' to kill him.

**XXX**

**Z/N**: To explain a few things, Roy was a police officer and 'infected' as in getting HIV/AIDS. Umm…and someone always tends to die off in my one-shots. I have lost hope of writing happy things. Erm. Please _read and review_, I'd really love it. And hopefully this will inspire Roy/Envy in the fandom because they would have an interesting relationship, I could see Envy just playing and feeding off of Roy's weaknesses, ultimately, being in control (not necessarily 'seme') in the relationship…if you could call it that.

Ja ne!


End file.
